Slap me. It’s rumoured there’s a Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson sex tape! Is there a chance in HELL we’ll finally see Nick Lachey naked? I’d walk thru fire to see his celeb cock. U think it’s cut or uncut? You think he shaves his balls and his pubes? How big do you think his dick is? Stay tuned.

Here’s a screengrab (courtesy of Movie Access) featuring a young white cocksucker that I often mistake for Lachey. Call it wishful thinking, but just as I’m about to jack to scene #2 on Dynastud, Lachey’s mug is in my face, his pecker in his hand…he’s kissing me while muttering “I’m still in love with Jess, I’m still in love with Jess..” at which point i fucking slap him and jam two fingers up his cracker ass.

But don’t get blue balls waiting for the clips. Blow that nut, BF! Use Movie Access. Tons for FREE gay movie (hardcore) samples. Huge selection (nearly 6,000 full-length xxx vids!). Top shelf quality. So, if you want to get off, I mean if you REALLY want to get off, click here to jack that L-O-A-D!

This just in – Nick “Hot Mancheeks” Lachey is reported to have called Jess and told her he wants to marry Vanessa Minnillo. Nick, ur crazy. I just google-imaged that chick and she looks like she’s on a hunger strike. Hey Nick, didn’t your old man tell you that guys give better head than chicks? I’m now writing a chain letter begging you my readers to hit up Nick “I got the Finest White Cut Cock on the Planet” Lachey and beg him to dump this vagina.

Nick’s a Lance Bass in the making. His desperate attempt to hump this mutt’s leg cries out “Lance, you got more guts than me, bro. I love a man’s grip, a man’s tool, a man’s sweaty, perspiring neck, but I don’t have the balls to admit I’m a maneater.”

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