Im openly a manwhore. This attracts a lot of guys who sit on the fence. The type that bellow their straightness from mountain tops, then, after a few glasses of red, confess to me their attraction to a male friend, co-worker, or, if Im lucky, me!. The pinnacle of enjoyment is breaking in a “straight” man. Truly, I dive into it like a bucket of fried chicken. or a filet from Ruth’s Chris. It’s delectable holding a man’s hand as he experiences his first gay sex.

I’ve had a dry streak with these guys, however. It’s not like I’m not looking. No. It’s that Im getting a lot of great ass from gay men who know what the Hell they are doing. Sure, I like the fumbler, but I’ll take the pug-nosed muscle bear any day who hand-cuffs me, spanks my ass with a leather prod, pistons a ribbed butt plug deeply up my hole, and splits my ass like a peach upon entry. Duh. Is there really a decision here?

Yes, there is.

I miss the first timer. I said it. Why? I like to watch them throw back their head as I suck their cock. I like to hear them moan as I deepthroat their balls. I like the satisfaction of knowing I’m the first gay man they’ve blown a nut in. It’s a sundae with a cherry on top if he blows me. But, whoa Nelly, I’ve won the lottery if he lets me top him, not just entry (Him: “I don’t if i should be doing this but, yes, you can go half way.”), but prolonged in-out, resulting in a seismic climax that guarantees he’ll be knocking on my door in evening.

I’ve got a straight guy hitlist. I have my eyes on the husky bank clerk, the tatooed latino at Chipotle, the shy trailer trash that sprays my home for bugs. You GOTTA have a list. No list, no action. Simple as that. However, if you’re a long way before your next anal inspection, I highly recommend downloading gay movies to your PC. None of this mobile gay porn bullshit. It sucks. Or walking into an adult video store and getting this vibe that some Conferate asshole’s going to walk you to your car. No. Scrap that. You name it, you download it. Straight boi. Teen. Mature. Bear. Jock. C’mon, don’t think you invented the wheel. it’s all there and available. But most importantly, you get to rub one out in the privacy of your own abode (although I’ve felt weird jerking off and the dog starts barking).