I’m convinced us guys can’t follow instructions. Take HisFirstGaySex, for example. It’s a great first-time gay sex reality site. I love it and have been juicing my oranges to it for years. How do I do it? Simple. Three-day trial memberships. Now, don’t run. I know, i said trial, not free, but I’ve been saying this to my readers for years – “Dude, hit the 3-day trial. Suck down all the movies, pics, etc. you can in three days and bail. You’ll have enough quality gay porn to last you for no less than six months. No more TGP gay thumb :30 second gay movie clip BS! That’s old school. That’s so AOL it hurts.”

Now, class is in session. Let’s assume you’ve checked out all the free HisFirstGaySex gay movie trailers. You have a boner. Better yet, you’ve seen David (a recent HFGS episode) get his cock sucked and cannon off a load into a handsome Dan’s mouth and you’ve got pre-cum. OK. Your worked up for the whole enchilada. You click the “Instant Access” link and your at the JOIN PAGE, which I’ve included below:

You’ll notice in the JOIN page I’ve circled the drop down box with pricing. PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THIS. The honest folks who produce His First Gay Sex default that box to the more expensive and unnecessary 7-DAY trial. Screw that. Change this to the 3-DAY TRIAL. Not to beat a dead horse, gents, but if I haven’t made it clear why the 3-DAY TRIAL is the BEST OPTION, I’ll say it again (but in less words): 1) The gay movies, pics, etc. are the same for a 3-DAY TRIAL member as it is for the 7-DAY TRIAL MEMBER; and 2) you can download at least 6-MONTHS worth of gay porn in three days (I’m not joking!).

OK, you’re almost home.

Now that you’ve selected the 3-DAY TRIAL, you are sent to the order sheet. Let me say this NOW: I’ve dealt with His First Gay Sex for years (of course as a MULTIPLE 3-Day Trial member). They’ve always billed me correctly. They’ve always cancelled my account once I hit three days. They don’t send me SHITLOADS of emails. Their customer support rocks. BUT…and this is the BIG next step: Pre-checked upsells. I’ve included a graphic below. The upsells are circled in red at the bottom…

UNCHECK these upsells. They will come back to haunt you. If there’s one thing I tell all my readers: UNCHECK THE PRE-CHECKED UPSELLS. You do this and you the customer are now in the driver’s seat. Oh, and one last thing – Make sure the trial membership cost is $4.95. I’ve circled that, too. Nearly 100 percent of the time, it will be correct. But there’s nothing wrong with being on the save side.

Boy George is an idiot. I loved the lady-boi in the 80’s. I had his records. I lip-synched Karma Chameleon, Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?. I remember tradding George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” for a Culture Club re-mix because it made me fuck ass harder, fuck ass deeper, cum longer. I also saw myself backdooring the drummer and the guitar player. Culture Club multi-tasked my inner gay sex fantasies. But this morning I read Boy George is out picking up trash in NYC. It appears the moron got community service for calling in a false burglarly that resulted in a cop finding cocaine. That was then. George is still a retard in the NOW: “You think you’re better than me?” he yelled. “Go home. Let me do my community service.” Poor, baby. Let me cry a river for you. The one thing I’m thankful for is Boy George neither starred in or produced gay porn movies. Better yet, I thank all that’s good that George didn’t arm wrestle Chi Chi La Ru (Chi Chi would’ve kicked his glam ass). Good gay porn is produced by men who don’t go clubbing with drugs falling out of their pockets (hint). Case in point are the guys who run MovieAccess. Those boiz got serious plans to take over gay porn on the Internet. I support them, too, coz I’m tired of half-ass gay porn movie sites that SUCK! MovieAccess was built on hard porn. Hard gay porn that lays major pipe. Gay porn that makes you want to kidnap a frat boi and tickle his feet. Gay porn that makes you want to take up the sport of fisting. Daz Right The real kicker? All the free gay porn movie trailers you can eat! Stand aside, son. I’m hitting the buffet!

Justin Timberlake is a twink. I’ve thought long and hard about this since the Lance Bass deal (and last post) and Im convinced these two former bandmates 1) jerked each other off ; 2) Lance gay Justin a BJ; or 3) Justin had gay anal sex with Lance. Call me a dreamer, but when the story breaks in The Enquirer or People or US, you heard it here first. Ah, sweet twinks…My consumption of gay teen movies is famous. Just ask Bruce, a fucktard I picked up at the local ice skating rink. I’ve been beating the pulp out of my cock since I tuned in to TwinkyBottoms. The gay twink movies on this site by far surpass the fumbling, poorly shot, subpar talent I’ve seen on other sites. I’m not gullible. The gay sex scene between Josh and Thomas is more believable than George Bush on Iraq. Seriously, I’ll bet u this is Josh’s first gay blowjob. I’ll be even more it’s the first time he shot some throat yoghurt down another guy’s throat. But more arousing is his gay anal sex initiation. I cheered him on as he awkwardly tried to stuff his hard uncut cock up Thomas’ass. Thomas took the cue, spits in his hand and slicks up Josh. Inside goes Josh and it’s off to the races in one of this years best first gay sex movies.