The Fourth of July. Let’s celebrate it with some gay porn, OK? Not ur run of the mill stuff. But gay action that makes us want to blow our horns and thank the Founding Fathers for the First Ammendment! Regardless if some right wing Republican closet fag is trying to ban us.

But I rant…This week is a time to mull our liberties. A time to ask ourselves, “Do I really want the government to raid my ISP under authorization of the Patriot Act?” Hell NO, and to this, I have BUTT one thing to say: “GLORYHOLES!”

That’s right, GLORYHOLES! Let’s bring back anonymous gay sex this FOURTH. The kind of risky but EXCITING stranger hook ups that happen in truckstops, park bathrooms, college libraries, bars, and other fine renowned places of cruise. Why am I beating this phrase like a dead horse? Because It’s the premise of an episode of HisFirstGaySex.

It’s quite simple (and this is why’ it’s good). Edward, a straight dude with a buzzed head, goes to a men’s store, occupies a dressing room, is preparing to try on a pair of designer jeans when he stumbles upon panting “hole.” Curious, and moved by a sudden pang to blow a nut, he inserts his flaccid penis, becomes erect, and, in an orgasm that nearly brings down the house, shoots his cannon.

Our accomodating stranger whispers/begs Edward to rifle his bum. Edward plys his tool erect, all the time saying, “I can’t believe gay sex feels so GREAT and this person is so kind as to let me ride his ass in public,” then plunders away. The result is another cum explosion, and thank Christ for that, becuse the sex gets so loud that the men’s changing room attendant drifts by, and snickers, “Sir, are you masturbating? I ask you to refrain as I have a shop boi who will suck your pecker free of charge.” To which, Edward replies,”This is not a problem, Sir. If your shop boi has a berry as tight as a fist, I do believe I just buggered him.”